The Power of Nice

<p>Foreword to the Revised Edition by Ambassador Charlene Barshefsky xi</p>
<p>Foreword to the First Edition by Cal Ripken, Jr. xiv</p>
<p>Acknowledgments xvi</p>
<p>Introduction: Why Change What Works? 2</p>
<p>1 Negotiation 5</p>
<p> I ll Burn That Bridge When I Come to It 5</p>
<p>Your First Deal 7</p>
<p>What Negotiation Isn t 11</p>
<p>Filling the Negotiator s Toolbox 18</p>
<p>What Negotiation Is 19</p>
<p>What Negotiation Can Be 23</p>
<p>Refresher 26</p>
<p>2 I Win You Lose Negotiation An Exercise in Flawed Logic 29</p>
<p>Enemies and Entrenched Positions 29</p>
<p>Hit and Run 32</p>
<p>I m Not One of Them, Am I? 35</p>
<p>At Least One Dissatisfied Party 43</p>
<p>Refresher 45</p>
<p>3 WIN win Negotiation 47</p>
<p>Myth and Reality 47</p>
<p>Achieving WIN win 49</p>
<p>Good Deals Echo, They Lead to More Deals 51</p>
<p>WIN win Is Not Wimp Wimp 52</p>
<p>Roadblocks, Minefields, and Wisdom 55</p>
<p>Putting It Together 57</p>
<p>Refresher 64</p>
<p>4 The Three Ps A Systematic Approach 67</p>
<p>Prepare, Probe, and Propose 70</p>
<p>Refresher 79</p>
<p>5 Prepare or Else 81</p>
<p>Preparation: The Aerobics of Negotiation 81</p>
<p>How Prepared Are You for Your Negotiations? 82</p>
<p>The Numbers and Letters Game 83</p>
<p>The Numbers and Letters Game Continued 84</p>
<p>How to Prepare (and How Not To) 87</p>
<p>The Preparation Checklist 89</p>
<p>A Case Study: The Sur–Real Sales Challenge 97</p>
<p>Confidence Is the Secret Weapon (But the Real Secret Is That Preparation Is the Key to Confidence) 104</p>
<p>Sources of Information 105</p>
<p>Refresher 110</p>
<p>6 Probe, Probe, Probe 113</p>
<p>The Other Side Is Trying to Tell You How to Make the Deal 113</p>
<p>W.H.A.T.? The Probing Technique 120</p>
<p>The Don ts How Not to Probe 126</p>
<p>Listening 128</p>
<p>The Zoologist 133</p>
<p>Learning to Listen 135</p>
<p>Refresher 138</p>
<p>7 Propose But Not Too Fast Getting the Other Side to Go First 141</p>
<p>Role Playing 141</p>
<p>Proposing for Real 146</p>
<p>The Three Rules Behind Propose 149</p>
<p>Making Counterproposals 153</p>
<p>Refresher 158</p>
<p>8 Difficult Negotiators 161</p>
<p> And the Award for Most Difficult Negotiator Goes to 162</p>
<p>Dealing with the Difficult Negotiator (without Becoming One) 166</p>
<p>Emotional Tactics Nonemotional Responses 170</p>
<p>Challenging Personalities 173</p>
<p>Refresher 177</p>
<p>9 Negotiating from Weakness 179</p>
<p>Perceived Weakness versus Real Weakness 179</p>
<p>Expand the Goals 181</p>
<p>Locate Allies 182</p>
<p>Never Let Them See You Sweat 185</p>
<p>Brainstorming 187</p>
<p>Refresher 192</p>
<p>10 Unlocking Deadlocks 195</p>
<p>If Nothing Works, Change Something 195</p>
<p>Find Reasons to Agree 200</p>
<p>Get Creative 200</p>
<p>Objective Mechanisms 205</p>
<p>Sometimes No Deal Is the Best Deal 209</p>
<p>If Deal Fever Persists, Keep Saying No 209</p>
<p>Refresher 216</p>
<p>11 Building Relationships 219</p>
<p>Today versus Tomorrow: How Long Is the Long Run? 219</p>
<p>A Relationship Tool: Bonding 221</p>
<p>The Meet–and–Bond Style 222</p>
<p>Rebonding 225</p>
<p>No Faux Bonding 227</p>
<p>Practice Makes Bonding 228</p>
<p>The Value of Relationships 231</p>
<p>Refresher 234</p>
<p>12 Putting It All Together 237</p>
<p>The Major League Baseball Owners versus the Major League Umpires (and the Major League Umpires versus Themselves) 237</p>
<p>Refresher 244</p>
<p>Epilogue: Nelson Mandela When the Power of Nice Changed a Nation 247</p>
<p>Reinforcement Tools Link 251</p>
<p>Post–Negotiation Assessment Questionnaire 253</p>
<p>Negotiator s Toolbox 255</p>
<p>Index 257</p>